I Was A Teenage John Bonham
Aug05

I Was A Teenage John Bonham

The above photo is taken from the 1984 Riverside High School yearbook in sunny WIndsor Ontario Canada. My home town. The kid with the shit eating grin with John Bonham beside his photo is yours truly. The full story is this. You know when they do yearbook photos in school? They herd all the kids down to the gym or auditorium where they’ve got the local photographer set up to take the photos. So our class gets called down and my mind starts plotting a little harmless scam. I already knew that to drink alcohol you had to be 19 or have a fake ID. So the concept of a fake ID was already known and here it seemed was an opportunity to get a real fake ID. So we waited in line and when I got to the front the administrator asked my name. I blurted out “John Bohnam” and the game was on. She didn’t even bat an eye. The guy took the picture and that was that. Except 2 weeks later after the company processed our student ID cards, I was sitting in homeroom waiting for Mr Cousineau (a former pro football player) to bust me for impersonating a drum god. He read through the cards that had been sent to him one by one. Since they were sorted alphabetically, I started sweating when almost instantly (Since Bonham starts with B) he looked up at me after after a few seconds and said something like “Ian it seems like somethings wrong with your card” I instantly ran up to the front of the class and basically snatched it out of his hand and said something like “oh, ok sir, I’ll make sure it gets fixed” making sure I got the card in the process. I acted like I was curious when I looked at it. I said something like ” Weird” as I starred at the most awesome piece of contraband I had ever seen : A student ID card with my picture and John Bonham written beside it. I knew I was about to be a legend. At least in my own mind. At lunch time, I went to hang out with all my stoner friends and waited until they had all shown and laughed at each other’s pictures when I unleashed my prize. I was a teenage John Bonham and I had the ID to prove it. This was met with awe. Or maybe we were all very high. But the story doesn’t end there. 2 other chapters would unfold over the next 2 years. The end of the year came and I wasn’t...

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